Allowing Love to Show up….
As this energy we are receiving is allowing a fierceness of Reflection, Unearthing, Healing and Revealing..I was reminded of a journey many years back and how some of the remnants continue to reflect. I was reminded as a part of my Journey, when I was twenty five years old. My cousin and I had this masterplan that we had developed upon finishing our undergraduate degrees. We were going to leave Delaware and move to a place we felt would be more accepting of who we are..based on how we viewed the world at that time..As part of that plan we were each going to find the Love of our lives:)..and live happily ever after:)..yeah the Universe had something else planned for me
The destination was to be San Francisco California…the date had been set to depart two weeks after we both graduated from college..no more perceived feelings we did not fit in..no more being restricted by our authentic selves..having the opportunity to meet people more like us so we thought…maybe kinder..maybe nicer..maybe gentler..having the opportunity to grow and experience..be creative.. what we knew to be more. And then came the big day for departure. I showed up at my cousins ..his Volkswagen packed to the hilt..and he said where’s your stuff? And I said I can’t go..I keep getting these messages I have to find me..I don’t know what all of that means I said to him…but I keep hearing that voice…and its pretty strong. The voice was also in conflict with what i thought finding me meant. But the voice was loud and very clear. Needless to say this was not part of the plan. And although I did not quite understand all of the messaging..I knew in my heart I was not to go at that time.. As the years moved forward. Many experiences took place, some beautiful..some not so much..and some quite debiltating at times but each had a message to this unraveling of the finding of me. I fell in Love a number of times..until i fell in Love with myself….much was gleaned from each of these relationships. I had this yearning to be with another for this sense of completeness as opposed to the experiencing of the sum of all there is… but no matter the appearance, the story, the situation ,something was always amiss..some emptiness. Patterns prevailed moving me closer to this truth. And knowing one can only find that truth within themselves. An awareness of acceptance of and in itself has resounded and amplified these experiences But it is only through our own light of demonstration we allow others the opportunity to see. The best you can do is continue to move through to be present and aware..sometimes easier said then done..then there is discernment and boundaries which based on our own individual experiences can be tricky in and of themselves. And mine were both. Our individual capacity and awareness kicks in…our own innerstrength kicks in ..our heart kicks in and this awareness grows from within this capacity to shift change our direction, transform, address our own vulnerabilities, our own insecurities, our own hurts and pain. I also came to an awareness that no matter my gifts or my capacity to Love..it becomes the merging of individuals in various ways that manifest a given outcome. We are all connected beyond what we perceive. This three D script really kicks your butt..but we are here to master it..and master it we will.
We become aware this is not a one and done…but an infinite multidimensional journey. You realize that no matter where you travel, no matter where you live…no matter the people you meet.. the depth of that experience will be predicated based on your own experience within..the lens in which you observe through..and ultimately the Love we have for ourselves, that love tranforms everything else. Who we choose to spend our time with; what we wish to create and manifest in our lives and ultimately our own joy. And guess what once we think we have that understanding something else comes about to challenge us either further..push us to a greater understanding of who we are and the various dimensions we each possess. I have traveled..I will continue to travel…I have met many different types of people all who have offered me a gift..and I will continue to meet more. I have experienced heartbreak, pain and great loss which has presented itself in different forms. One of the most difficult experiences i have ever felt is to loose someone who you can see all of those beautiful things within them ..but they have to make their way to see them for themselves. You cannot do it for them. You can only show up unconditionally…and Love them..that energy in itself presents choice…
Although there is so much in this world….the one thing i am certain of is this heart of mine inside that has this great capacity to overcome the unseen to be challenged by the unforeseeable, to forgive infinitely and to love unconditionally. In that I have to still give myself permission to be human with all of that awareness and not give up on me , anyone else or the world in general as I have experienced the moments of magnifence..deep and authentic and unconditional love on every level. So I hold the light for that…the capacity for that..the knowing that this will be and this is what I want it to be…taking my leisure in each moment to show up the best way I know how at a given moment in time This is what I am manifesting…at this point in my journey it is never for me to give up…This same Love we have for ourselves is the Love that will heal the world
As for my cousin..he found the love of his life in California with his beautiful partner. They have a beautiful life valuing what is important and …as for me I know that partner to be part of this leg of the journey is already here ..just trying to see them and them see me through the entanglements of the world..like two orbs passing …but I am working on it:)
Love, Riue
